Since my first blog, a tragic death has occurred. A 17 year old boy at my son's secondary school died last Thursday. The whole school was upset, to the point where some students had to leave just to isolate themselves from the amount of heartache that pervaded the building. One can only feel for the amount of hurt that a situation like this can cause a community and a family.

This got me to thinking about PERSPECTIVE. When we deal with disputes, as we all do to a greater or lesser extent, the natural feeling is to believe that you are hard done by and assume that your issue is so significant, that it must be resolved in your favour as it is, 'all so unfair.' It is easy to dwell on the isssue making it hard to pass by and move on.

Therefore, when in the middle of a dispute, some perspective needs to be maintained. This may be difficult for the party who feels victimized by the situation, but if it is comprehended, it can help lead to a better understanding of the dispute. Understanding that the world is full of churning events and interactions and that some of these may lead to hurt for you personally is a protective mechanism we can all apply. 

Like the example above, and the vignette to come, putting your situation in perspective may help clear your mind and make decision making on resolution or betterment of your situation much easier.Things can be seen less subjectively as a potential plaintiff senses and digests the perspective of the other side. As mediation literature suggests, understanding the interests of the other party is important in a mediation and a negotiation. To understand that they may be suffering too or have some extent of a loss, the party must be able to objectively see the picture. Perspective is everything!

In the meantime, I would like to summarize a mediation situation that occurred some years ago. I would entitle it:

A Vignette of Courage

I was in Cranbrook on a Thursday afternoon doing a mediation when a call came in from my office. "Would I agree to do a mediation on Friday afternoon in Vancouver as the matter is set to go to trial on Monday." "Absolutely," was my response.(Turning mediations away is hardly ever a good idea!)

Arriving at the mediation, I found the plaintiff was in a full wheelchair as he had been a quadripelegic for many years after falling off a porch. He was not at the mediation as a litigant for this injury. Rather, in a very ironic sense, he had been in an accident that left him with a whiplash type injury. While it sounds insignificant; the injury took away from him the one thing he could do which was control things including a computer with a device that required neck movement.  

The mediation wasn't long, perhaps three hours and the net result was an extremely significant settlement. The plaintiff did not seem concerned with the money. He let his lawyer handle those details, but the thing that stands out in my memory, even today, was his positive mood and lack of whining. Here he was, a fellow who had his last movement compromised, an injury which took away his ability to work by using a computer, yet I saw him as pleasant, accepting and strong. Qualities that one also sees in individuals like Rick Hansen.

I left the mediation feeling somewhat ashamed that I like most would be disrupted by life's curves. Still it is easier to recognize a fault than correct it. Those of us in the mediation business can only try to allow all participants to have a healthy perspective as we work through seemingly difficult disputes.

For now,

Bryce Jeffery