Sitting in the lobby at a mediation at Jill Talbot's mediation centre today, I struck a conversation with mediator Doug Husband. We were talking about mediators' styles and how one client can like a particular mediator's style but not others. We concluded that this may have a lot to do with the relationship that is developed between the client and the mediator; older brother - uncle or some peer that is able to connect with a particular client. However, when setting mediations up, one must be careful to realize that both sides need to be adequately represented; threfore any special relationship that is perceived must either be reciprocated to the other side or at the very least acknowledged to exist. Notwithstanding this, the mediator must still fulfill his or her ethical obligations to both clients.

Then we talked about how styles are connected to personalities. Doug's point was that we are all tailored by our DNA and while we can alter our approach somewhat, we mostly have to work with the skill set that we inheirited. The conclusion from this sage advice is, I suppose, use your own personal style. Someone else's personality may work for them, it probably won't work for you.